Today has been a mixed day. One moment I felt fine, the next I was crying my eyes out just wanting a cuddle from Mum. I miss her so much. I can't tell you how much it hurts. I get flashbacks to the last few days and it makes me crumble... But I cry when I'm alone but I can't when I'm with people and I don't know why. Sometimes I just want to scream during worship but I can't! Lately I've really struggled with talking to God. I've not been able to pray or read the Bible or worship properly, maybe because I was still angry with Him for taking Mum and Nanny away and leaving me to deal with things on my own. I mean I'm 16 and I don't have a mum or any grandparents left. How is that fair? I need mum more than ever now for advice, comfort and love.
I feel like I can't do this alone.
It's so hard...
I just wish she was still here and that cancer never existed...
You know when you're at home and feel so lonely but can't do anything about it? Yeah I feel like that everyday... well at some point...
I see people around me, children running to their mum's, families going out together and it rips my heart out. I can't watch...
Nothing will ever fill the void that Mum left behind but I just need to hold onto God. As hard as it is to do that sometimes, I know that He is always there.
I made the graphic picture above the other day just to show the many names and qualities of God.
This is a very powerful song that I just came across. We need to just fall into God...
Oh, Sarah, I can't imagine what it is like to lose your Mum at your age. I still have times when I really just miss my Mum, and she was 81, I was 52 when she died nearly 8 years ago. All I know is that you are amazing, and you must allow yourself to grieve. Certainly God is with you, and He is upholding you so wonderfully, but it is only natural to miss her, and He understands that.
ReplyDeleteLove the song, and love the cross graphic. You have such a gift - it is creating comfort for others, so thank you for using what He has given you.
Much love and God bless.
Thank you, just found it very hard today, it really hits home sometimes.
DeleteThanks I love doing this to comfort others and am glad you enjoy it!!
xx